I meditate for several reasons. Admittedly, meditation is not fun for me. I do not look forward to it at all, but it is beneficial and completely necessary as a contribution to my quality of life. So, I completely relate to Buddha for saying that he hates meditation (Uber Cab Confessions, Ep 1). I don’t exactly hate it, but I don’t love it either. It’s just one of those things that I do because I should. It’s kind of like eating vegetables for some people, although, I actually love vegetables. Like Buddha, I just don’t always love people. Hence, the need for meditation.
I used to wish I was one of those people that didn’t curse. That’s just not my reality. Yes, I do yoga. I am also a Reiki healer and when I greet people, I say “Peace”. I also curse like a sailor. (I’m working on it….kinda) Sometimes, there’s just no substitute for a good expletive to keep me from going ape shit and bringing me back to center. I once read an article that said that people that curse a lot are some of the most honest people there are. I’ll take that. I’ve also heard others say that people that curse have a limited vocabulary, and are unable to find more appropriate words to express how they feel. I have to disagree. My vocabulary is quite extensive, but more often than not, “Fuck off”, drives the point home much more quickly and efficiently than some wordy argument about why you need to be left alone. This is just an observation from someone who’s spent many years just trying to get to the bottom line. However, using expletives isn’t always appropriate—and that’s where the benefits of regular meditation and chakra aligning comes into play. Don’t get me wrong, I can be very kind and with ease in certain interactions. I also recognize that I have an inner mean girl that shows her fangs from time to time. I try to keep her locked away and muzzled, but sometimes, she breaks free and someone gets their ass handed to them. It’s usually not without being provoked, but she’s also still a work in progress.
In all sincerity, it took me several years to acknowledge that my response in certain situations, whether justified or not, only contributed to an overall negative frequency that I would have to shed in order to have greater access to my higher self. Once I grew to the point of doing some difficult, but much needed self-inventory, I found that I could change the dynamic of my relationships and interactions, I found that meditation was a tool available to help me to correct certain unsavory behaviors and that was my ultimate desire.
While it may never be said that “butter wouldn’t melt on her tongue”, with regard my communication style, through regular meditation I accept that and the fact that every once in a while, my healing may come in the form of “F-bombs”, other four letter words, and maybe even a middle finger. I’m good with that.