GURUS CHARACTERS

THE GURU CENTER:

The Guru Center is in a fictional location in Los Angeles, but local neighborhoods and landmarks are used throughout the episodes. It is a multipurpose building that is as secretive and extraordinary as the pentagon. Rumors say that it could be armed with alien technology and strange weaponry. Underneath is a bat-cave style super hero lair, and on top is the social smokers lounge where many Gurus go on their breaks. Just above the roof is the space needle, whichholds the director’s office. The building is huge with lounges, food courts, theaters, classrooms, mini marts, a marijuana dispensary and a fully functional danger room. Each Guru has an office and the place is run with a modern corporate culture on a ‘Casual Friday.’

MAIN CHARACTERS

Eisen Godfrey

A self-aware cartoon not based on a historical figure.  He is the only Guru that knows he is in a Cartoon, thus his philosophical point of view, ‘Cartoonism.’  The series unfolds through his eyes, and as the ‘straight man’, he anchors the madness of the gurus in some form of reality.

Alan Watts

The supposed Zen Guru, he likes to play practical jokes on people and is amazed at life. The prankster and hedonist of the center, he is nonetheless loved by all despite his frequent pranks and his egotistical nature.

Terence McKenna

Self proclaimed ‘psychonaut’ Terrance is a little wacky, intense and frantic. He takes kindly to substance abuse and is at home in alternate realities. Will offer mind-altering drugs as a solution to many sticky situations.

SUPPORTING CHACRACTERS

Jesus

Co-Founder, a laidback hippie/ surfer dude. Believes that he was invented for political gain. He uses his powers of walking on water, turning it to wine and resurrecting himself as frequent party tricks. Often smokes weed with Carl Sagan.

Gandhi

Lives lavishly though has not eaten in 5 years, protesting a Guru Center rule in the snack bar. His love for designer clothing makes him a fashion expert, and his powers of flattery can create peace with anyone.

Albert Einstein

He is a womanizing pervert at times and will do anything for Anna Nicole Smith. He can solve problems with absurd sounding scientific equations and contraptions but is a realist and very sarcastic.

Socrates

He talks in circles/questions, does not know where his office is, has narcolepsy and sleeps on the floors of the Guru Center.  His ethics are a focal point of his conversations, but he is a crabby old man with questionable morals himself.

Thomas Jefferson

Anarchist, political, but hates politics, and wants to overthrow the government. He is a rather charming and dashing frat boy until he gets into a conspiracy theory conversation.  He is in a complicated relationship with Harriet Tubman.

Malcolm X

He is articulate and gentlemanly most of the time. But Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde, when he is confronted with outright racism. He transforms into a hulking racist white beast that can crush anything in his path.

Nikola Telsa

Has telekinesis, and can read the minds of his peers.  He is the MacGyver out of the bunch, whipping up the craziest inventions in a pinch.  Has no need to use the internet, because his memory works better and faster. 

Buddha

Co-founder, has an anger problem, and feels as though he is constantly being hassled. He tries to keep the Gurus in order, but is often frazzled by their antics. He preaches the absurdity of organized religion, and his third eye performs the supernatural.

Harriet Tubman

She is a strategist, can find a way out of any situation.   No nonsense, and a woman of few words, but when she speaks, it is straight to the point.  She ironically knows what Eisen knows (that she is in a cartoon), and essentially is the smartest of all the Gurus.

Bruce Lee

Immortal and can kill a man with one finger, or defeat an army of a hundred men with ease.  He alone is the A-Team for the Guru Center, the highest ranking Special Forces in the organization.

Plato

Is doveoted to proving Socrates wrong, even if he knows he's right.  Though he is often wrong, he thinks he knows more than anyone. Is believed to be a closet homosexual, though he is clueless to the notion.    

Aristotle

Extremely childish, hates philosophy, but loves Socrates and Plato to a fault. Loves rap music and wants to be a gangster.  Thought to be the stupidest Guru in the Center, is often overlooked when he drops a stroke of brilliance.

Jerome

Alien from another solar system, Terrence is the only one that understands his bizarre language. His technology and intelligence far exceed the humans’; no one is quite sure why he is on earth.

Princess Diana

Overly caring, peacemaker, and Suzie homemaker. She can make anyone feel at ease with her soft demeanor, but can become enraged with freakish strength if she senses unfairness to children.

Martin Luther King

Using his real speaking voice (cut from his actual speeches), he may not make direct sense, though characters always reward his eloquence with awe and appreciation.

Carl Sagan

Believed to be the largest distributor of marijuana to the west coast.  He is fascinated with Space but his work is complicated by his intense ADHD.  Believes cannabis is the cure to most problems, and when he gets high he can open portals to other worlds.

Nostradamus

Sees into the future, but rarely gets it right.  However, the Gurus still depend on his magic despite how unstable it is.  He enjoys ‘End of the World’ documentaries and “The Bachelor.”

Ayn Rand

Conspiracy theorist, bonds with Thomas Jefferson on many issues, and is over-paranoid. She always has inside information and acts as a ninja/secret-service/spy.

Wilt Chamberlain

Has a charm with the ladies, and is a delusional celibate. He invented the philosophy of ‘Celebratory Sexism’, which has dubious meaning to everyone but him.

Nelson Mandela

The most impatient person in the Guru Center, needs everything right away.  Is over dramatic.  Is believed to be the leader of an underground group of rebels.

Security Guard

The Guru Center’s security guard, although everyone else seems not to be able to recall his name, he offers sound advice from the front desk, and knows everything that goes on in the center.

Rene Descartes

Enjoys life to the fullest. Believes every single philosophy or theory on life is true, even though they all contradict each other.  Enjoys debating, but being that he believes in everything, he rarely comes out the victor. 

Friedrich Nietzsche

Believes in nothing, and has a distaste for religion and God.His depression stems from believing reincarnation does not exist.  Is often the drag at the party.

Anna Nicole Smith

Profound to teenage girls, who understand her seeming nonsensical advice. Her head is in the clouds, but she is an expert on modern pop-culture issues and a sex symbol.

Guest Appearances

While these characters were established as the original core, there are many other gurus that make appearance in the show, who may however become a major part of the storyline. The show will literally be able to house every great thinker and philosopher in history.  Modern day politicans and celebrites are also frequently reoccuring on the series. 

© 2015 by Cosmidelic Productions

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